Toby Talbot’s Cannes Diary

Toby Talbot (left), chief creative officer at Saatchi & Saatchi NZ, is sitting on the Cannes Radio + Audio Lions jury. Here Talbot gives a rundown of his three days in the jury room exclusively for Campaign Brief.

Day one.

Let’s start with the lanyard you have to wear.

The last time I judged Cannes, it was smaller. A lot smaller. This beast hangs like an enormous AO poster around my neck, making me feel like a small child being evacuated from war torn London.

Sharp at the edges, a dangerous wind break and there, I presume, to inform anyone within 100 metres exactly who I am, and what exactly it is I am judging.

As if anyone gives a fuck. This is Cannes.

The insouciant locals don’t care.

They’ve seen it all in the last month alone.

They had the film festival last month.

Then the porn festival.

Now it’s advertising’s turn.

But the big one is still to come folks.

Get your best white smiles on Cannes because next up is the Dental Festival.

I kid you not.

So let’s talk about what I’m judging.

It’s easy to deride radio.

Three hundred radio spots on my first day’s judging.

That was a lot of inner derision on my part.

But wait, something’s emerging from the fetid carcass of radio.

Move over massively over-written skits with tenuous connections to a brand at the end that ran three times.

Say hello to the limitless potential of ‘audio’ (the other word emblazoned across my humungous lanyard).

There’s some clever stuff to be sure. Innovative, smart and no doubt there will be plenty of debate with my lovely (and refreshingly small) jury as to what is and what isn’t redefining this category which so needs to be redefined.

I’m looking forwards to the headphones off moment.

Starter for ten.

Podcasts.

I love podcasts me.

Listen to them most mornings.

But listening to a 15 minute podcast that has no discernible ‘idea’ does make me question the sanity of some people who happily throw a vulgar amount of money to enter this show.

Anyway, must dash.

There’s a bean bag, headphones and another 300 ads to judge today.

Lanyard on.

Let’s do this.

Day Two

One of the upsides of judging in Cannes is where you get to rest your weary head every night.

They tend to put the juries up in very nice hotels.

Well I can categorically say that ours is.

Having spent three days painstakingly getting to a shortlist, occasionally stumbling across some hidden gem only to find out that it ran once in the middle of the night on “Facebook” (note: the media plan is included with the ad when you judge now) the emotional turmoil of it all means the plump feathery pillows of my well-appointed room do come as a welcome relief at the end of every day.

And so it has been against the run of play at the newly refurbished Hotel Martinez, that certain members of the jury have fallen foul to what has become known as ‘toothbrush gate’.

This toothbrush greeted me when I got back to my room yesterday.

It had certainly seen a lot of action. Witness those worn-down bristles. What kind of action, I wasn’t entirely sure.

But it’s close proximity to the toilet concerned me.

I complained to the immaculate man at the front desk who sent a fruit basket and publicly flogged one of the staff to appease me (I told him the fruit basket was a completely unnecessary gesture).

Sharing the sordid episode with my jurors, it turns out that some of them have also either lost or gained toothbrushes.

And upon seeing a picture of the evidence, it turns out this toothbrush belongs to one of my fellow jurors, Hugo Delgado, who lost his faithful friend two days ago.

It’s a little unsettling and suffice to say, each juror’s room safe has become the go to spot for their toothbrushes now.

I am tempted to suggest the good people of the Hyatt, instead of spending many hours rearranging Lamborghinis out front, get down to more important business like investing in some proper toilet brushes.

Moving on to other matters than the thought of fecal matter, my jury has been great.

They come from all over: South Africa (a hotbed of great radio writing for many years), Spain, Germany, the States, the UK, Brasil, Peru and Canada. And of course, little old New Zil.

The effervescent Jo McCrostie has been a fine Jury President and the last two days, the business end of the judging, will no doubt prove that being ask to judge at Cannes with such a diverse and clever bunch of people is indeed a great honour.

What they lack in toothbrushes these people make up for in so many other ways.

Day Three

They said the last day of judging would be the longest.

They weren’t wrong.

From the rapid-fire pace of choosing a shortlist for three days, things slowed right down when it came to dishing out the metal. Right. Fucking. Down.

Suffice to say, choosing a Grand Prix isn’t a decision made lightly either.

No stone is left unturned. Debates rage. The bonhomie between judges fades a little as real questions are raised. Tough questions. And in some cases, I felt, long overdue questions.

There were a lot of things I was missing by working beyond midnight that final day.

Like the will to live.

Other things too like old friends who had just flown into town, intent on drinking their entire body weight in that bloody pink wine that after a week you start to hate.

Things like the Campaign Brief Australia/New Zealand opening drinks at the Grand too.

And England’s opening World Cup group game against the undisputed world heavyweights of football…um, Tunisia.

Or did I?

What you see here is me enjoying the lively discussion of my jury whilst chewing a pen.

Or at least pretending to.

But what is really happening is that I am listening to a live broadcast of the England game.

You see, that pen is more than a pen.

It’s a pen that works as a radio.

First you download an app. Then select a station of your choosing.

All you have to do is chew the end, strike a thoughtful “I’m really listening to you” pose and the sonic waves are carried up through your teeth, through your jaws and into your ears.

This ingenious idea was an entry in the Festival and whoever entered it was smart enough given it’s the World Cup this week, to give the judges one to try.

How timely then for this one particular judge who got to experience another tepid England performance.

Sadly, the radio pen isn’t as nearly as good as the case study would have you believe – fancy that – it felt like one of the characters Rob Brydon plays, ‘man in a box’ – you can sort of hear the commentary but barely.

No matter.

It has been an interesting week. Our jury set out to redefine what audio is capable of whilst at the same time celebrated the craft of great writing and production.

Our Grand Prix demonstrated perfectly the power of a simple audio piece to affect change. To see the three South African women who created ‘Soccer game for change’ moved to tears on stage was huge.

And so my time comes to an end.

The sun has shone. The wine has flowed. Dry July beckons.

Cannes may have become a bit of a circus, but world-changing ideas still dominate and for that reason alone, being here is still an honour.

Au revoir.